- confessions. -
its a long time since i felt like blogging.
recently i took up another temp job, helping a friend while she go overseas for a couple of weeks. initially i thought it will be fine since there wont be much to do in just 2-3 weeks time. but. who knows? during this 2 weeks is their tradelaunch and official opening?! and halfway thru shes going off? then everything falls onto me!
its quite overwhelming for me as i haven adapt to the company's environment and company corporate design style. i dont know what they want. my design skills even became rusty! its totally wrong that i am takin up this job now. initially for money. but now after having known the whole situation. i cant sleep well. i keep eating.. i'm stressed! i'm scared of the boss.. after a few days there i dont feel him easy to deal with..especially for design. and my friend is under a lot of stress too.. i dont know how to go thru these 3 weeks peacefully..i cant possibly not do anything right? i hope i dont go and ruin their official opening... i feel cheated to be in this situation. i'm sorry my friend. but you should have told me earlier what is the whole situation in there before you ask people to cover you up. i dont feel the least bit comfortable everyday since i joined in. i feel like backing out. but i cant! i went to sign the contract!! and i feel guilty now if i back out.. she seems so stressed out.
why did i agree on another difficult situation again!!! i always get myself stuck in these big hole without knowing at first but once i realise. i'm deep deep in it already. can someone help me? and all along i kept telling myself to back out the design world since it has hurt me so much.. and yet i went to accept this offer.. its all my fault. maybe i should forgo the $$ and quit it. i rather be unemployed than having to cry everyday. BUT you know i wont do it. i feel really upset now by this. issit PMS? i hope so. as mine wont last long...but i doubt it. i've got a strong gut feeling all is going to mess up. i think she wont read this...i just need an outlet to release something out.... what do i do now? i dont know...anyone wanna help? i doubt so.
my good friend came to me for help, i spoke to her for quite sometime. it does help when you have a listening ear.. i hope i did you good tt night. you know who you are =) i didnt mention anything that night because it haven got into me yet. as monday gets closer and closer. its overwhelming.... how do i sleep tonight? how do i make sure i wont screw up? maybe i should just watch italy and france fight it out. then go to work without sleeping.
all for $$'s sake. worth it? i dont think so. this year is so not my year except the taiwan trip part. 2 depressing temp jobs and 1 farewell to a job. really enough... i think i should get some rewards next year as for make up. so god? do you hear me? any god??! buddha, jesus, whoever? i need a refreshing 2008! i hate farewells too. i need a job that i want now too. ai~~~ whoever. or santa claus. maybe you can grant my wishes....i'll be waiting.......
