- should i..... -
well its those whether i should study? post again.
i guess among our age..u will find yrselves asking yrself this question again and again.. well i really dunno wad to do...i dont find joy in my work now..only its a chore to me.....i rather really be a clerk to organise stuff do admin work..sounds real boring ya?? i think i will find more joy doing that than now.. why on earth i am a designer and i am not happy about it?? dunno guess its really not in my blood. lookin at my peers they seem to enjoy wad they are doing now..and planning to further study on design...well to me if i continue studying design.. my only route is to teaching?? or be a boss?? creative director?? because i cant be designer again or it would be the same as now...being a designer u dont need a degree...u will get the same pay...almost the same range.. real sianz... so i begin to wonder wad do i want to do if not designing??? related...none. maybe towards the arts side.
with this diploma its really restricted to wad i can study in uni no matter overseas or local?? i can only do comm studies/social sciences/design/business and not all the schools will enroll me to wad i want. i hav to check v carefully...cant do comm studies cuz my language is not strong...then design i dun wan.. then business i can only go to nus...where i know i will never beat them all then i will end up with a business degree that everyone has...sounds real...stucked up!! so wad now??
left with social sciences..i checked and see whether i would be interested...wow..many divisions and stuff then i saw japanese studies..i go bing bing bing!! i always wanted to further my japanese language studies.. but what is this about?? i am not really sure until now..its more on the japanese culture studies and history.. will i really get a job with this?? i found out just now that the japanese language is not added to the major. i have to bid for it..really very very very idiot system... i just cannot understand the bidding thing..real dumb and absurd... i am not even sure if i have to bid for my majors... but i really want to study history??? its not really me... but i know university..any course.... u cant escape thesis / essays/ write your opinion or blah blah.. its the same ba..except i will not be math /science expert.. cuz i wont go into that field.. can i really write?? do i have the ability to join the faculty of arts and social sciences?? haiz i know i will definitely bid for my japanese language if i get to go in.. so how neh...i really dunno if i want to study this.. not much choice left if i dont go for it..then wad??? work as designer longer.???? or i borrow money go and crash learn my piano or...really nothing much already.... haiz...life is so sickening.. will i have jobs if i study that...??? really dunno.. i have almost a year to decide..if i study it should be next year ba. will take a loan or cpf. shuld be ok. only have to take up part time jobs for allowances.. so the problem is. whether i want it. i have no friends to join me study.. i will be all alone. real alone. shuld i live in hostel so tt i can make more friends? shuld i continue to work as a designer where i dont enjoy...???? or shuld i go and take up vocal lessons??
really admire one girl i met in yc fanclub online..she din go to poly/jc but she convinced her mom to let her full time study @ leeweisong sch of music.. study composing/piano/ vocal classes.. that will be her job in the future..i hope that she will succeed or i dunno wad will happen with a girl with only O levels...
i'm really into thinking process these days.. seldom go out..keep watching dramas, ...saving up for my vacation early next year, saving for piano... i really do believe money DO BUY HAPPINESS muahaha...i haven even got the chance to learn how to drive, to put on braces....i understand this is my life..i treasure my own stuff cuz i earn all the stuffs i own. bit by bit..i am going to earn more stuff. by my own. 自己賺的東西最可貴 zi ji zhuan de dong xi zui ke gui.
