- confused~ -
i had to struggle whether to post this up....
sometimes, i might just feel a little left out in a group, maybe its me, its just my problem. but i do not know why. i know i am always the unpopular one among the group, but i dont regret being friends with all of you. i dont mind being the invisible one la, just that this feeling might just prevent me from going out anymore.. just feel further and further away from all my friends. i may seem ok/ noisy or normal when around cuz i try to, but i might not be really fine inside. i may seem weird sometime answering any of your questions, its just i dunno how to react ba. but i am really grateful for that night when i was sent home..warmth feeling you know? just leave me alone, all of you for now, i just want to be alone for some time until i come out of this shell. dont call me hor i may just freak out..dunno wad to say la.. everything is normal, i will just blog down my events if there is any. i just want to stay at home...
dont worry i'm fine.
this saturday i really dont know whether to go for a sec sch gathering, i might just go. and get on with it. this might be a very personal kind of post..i hope...i wont sound stupid or wu liaw... if you dont like me i dont care..
and to meitian just be normal ok? cuz i am seeing u everyday..dont wanna create weirdness after i post this.. dont mention anything..thanks...=)
and i think to think stuff over..wad do i want in the future?? wad kind of life i want. i know it but its very personal..i am tryin to achieve it. i hope so..i might be always laughing around or shouting or bitching..thats just a way to cover myself up..我的僞裝 ...protect myself.. i dunno la i think everyone has masks.....
and so nice when i am down.. my aircon also down..a week already water spilled from it..... damn frustrated that i cried to sleep. so hot.......i miss the coolness...i had to wake up early to bath.....so smelly......i am ssooo pampered with that..i hate myself...i didnt sleep well from last week. i keep waking up cuz i am so fucking hot..the weather is damn....i hate my procrastination..i hate my lateness...sorry..let me release some..frustration.. thanks.. when i write down i feel better..
but i still love you - my friends. thank you for everything.
